Turns out my search brought me just south of the border, to a little strip of hell on Earth known as Tijuana. ¡Aye, chi mama! If "Tijuana" translated to "Abandon hope all ye who enter here", I wouldn't be all that surprised. There is something seriously broken with that place. I know not to judge an entire country by one little cesspool, but that's the only part of Mexico I've been too. And trust me, it's a cesspool.
As far as I could tell, Tijuanans (?) seem to think all Americans want to buy three things: Day of the Dead trinkets, wrestling masks (think Nacho Libre), and Chicklets. Chicklets? WTF? Did someone tell them we ran out? And they paint their donkeys like fucking zebras because WHY? Do they think WE think the zebra is indigenous to Northwest Mexico?
I could go on, but for now I'd better just
It took all of 5 seconds to cross the border into Tijuana. Getting backing was another story. It took 2 hours. TWO HOURS! This shot was taken on a walkway over the line of cars waiting to get into the U.S. (We were laughing at the fools who were stupid enough to drive... until we reached the other side of the walkway and realized the line of people sans cars stretched half-a-goddamn-mile!) What struck me was the weird, random shit hawkers were trying to sell. Cheap, plastic flamenco guitars, I can almost understand, but huge urns?
In downtown Tijuana, you see a lot of Mariachi. The thing is, few of them are actually playing. Most are waiting for transportation to bring them, I imagine, to annoy the fuck out of people in San Diego's Old Town.Dios mio.
Photos ©2009 Garrito
17 comments:
Seriously, Tijuana does not bring up lovely images. My husband has mentioned going to Mexico and I cringe every time. One little city DID ruin it for everyone.
I picture little shacks, all dirt roads, and stray chickens running around. And I imagine it's hot. All the time. And everybody is supe sweaty. Stupid Mexico.
"Super"! Man, we are OCD aren't we?
The only place in Mexico I have any interest in visiting is Zihuatanejo, but only because it sounded so nice in Shawshank Redemption. Otherwise, to me, it sounds either overly touristy or, as you say, overly populated by stray chickens.
I don't know, some people swear it's a beautiful place. And even New Jersey isn't half as bad as its reputation. (Don't tell them I admitted that.)
are you talking about me? feel free to call me out, yo. ;)
DOOOOOOD... don't bag on the TJ, man. my HS buddies and i traveled there MANY times at age 16 to drink mucho beers. (don't drink the water and don't get a drink with ice in it!)
thanks for the pics... sheer awesomeness. having lived in DC for SO.FUCKING.LONG at this point, i had almost forgotten about the many "ponchos" and shitilly (i made that up) made piggy banks...
Now that my "source" has outed herself: Yes, world, or my 3-4 person corner of it, I was referring to none other than SD native Matter of Fact Mommy.
OK, I'm sure TJ (what SDers disparagingly call Tijuana, folks) is wicked cool if you're 16 years old and have no choice but to cross international borders to get your drink on, but oh...my...god! The only thing that "city" has to offer adults is, at best, E. coli.
Oh, and "Shitilly" is hereby a word (and appropriate when referring to TJ).
I have never been there...and will probably never go now. Thanks for the heads up!
There aren't many places in the world I'd suggest outright to away from, but TJ definitely makes the list. Jamaica is up there, too -- getting robbed at knifepoint tends to leave a bad taste in one's mouth.
Noooooooo! I'm headed to Jamaica in September!
And, did you forget a word? Like "stay", or something. Always editing, we are.
Yep, "stay" would certainly help that sentence. (Thank you!) That's what happens when I'm trying to write quickly before my guilty pleasure (American Idol) starts.
OK, here's the deal with Jamaica. It's a beautiful place, but if you happen to be staying in or around Montego Bay, expect to be followed everywhere. Aggressively. Negril wasn't so bad. I was in downtown Montego Bay when I was robbed -- I luckily had almost nothing on me, not even my wallet. Are you staying in an all-inclusive?
damn it! I had just finalized my family's vacation plans for TJ...all b/c I thought the US was out of chicklets.
What is it about chicklets? Every Mexican restaurant (which is as close to TJ as I'll ever get) sells them at the door...and I always buy them. Funny enough, my husband asked me if I buy them there b/c they're unavailable otherwise...hmmmmm.... I never thought about it before, but I'm going to start actively seeking chicklets!
See? Your shiny chicklets distracted me from all the other 'funny' in your post :) and it was truly funny :)
Yep, all-inclusive. The Couples Resort in Ochos Rios. We don't really plan to leave the room except to go eat. It's our honeymoon...
Heard only good things about Ochos Rios. The Bond falls are near there, right? Yeah, all-inclusive is the way to go in Jamaica. They keep the riff-raff out.
we did two Sandals resorts in jamaica - the one in Ochos Rios and the one in Montego Bay. i agree with you about montego, garrito. we stayed on the resort when we were in montego - at the urging of the locals - but we went to the town market and Margaritaville and shit when we were in Ochos Rios.
I remember trying to sneak into an all-inclusive with a girl who was staying there, but that security was TIGHT! I think it was the Montego Bay Sandals. Looked nice from the outside.
I think Tijuana is actually located in the outermost ring of Hell, not Mexico.
A buddy of mine said that when he was there years ago, he ate lunch at a place that had a midget wearing a giant sombrero filled with tortilla chips (and a cup of salsa in the center) going from table to table serving people. I would kill to have seen that in person.
I would actually return to TJ for that, Cary. Besides jockeys and basketball players, that's one of the best height-appropriate jobs I've ever heard of. Put a tip jar up there, and that's one diminutive cash cow.
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