Monday, April 13, 2009

Life imitates 1980's SNL parody

Niklas Stoepel is a 17-year-old synchronized swimmer with Olympic dreams. He has the moves (ie. "Ballet leg", "Lift", "Flamingo"). He has the desire. Unfortunately, he also has a penis.

Men are a no-no at the international level -- his application has been rejected by the governing body -- so for now, this aquatic Billy Elliot will remain Germany's little secret.

Unfortunately, the chlorine may be having an adverse effect on his perception: "Someone at a party was making fun of this guy who swims with a bunch of girls. He said that in front of me, not realizing that I was that boy. The others all laughed, and I think it was more embarrassing for him than it was for me." Really.

More shrinkage here.

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Bonus: Here's a clip from that SNL classic.

32 comments:

Bev said...

Germany's little secret! BWAH!

Recommended viewing for the poor little swimmer: Bosom Buddies, Tootsie, and Mrs. Doubtfire.

Love the SNL clip. I had no idea that the guy from all of the Christopher Guest movies (mustached dude - too lazy to look up his name) was on SNL at one time. I learned something new today on Garrito's blog. Color me happy!

garrito said...

Harry Shearer. Hell, yeah! And you know that's Christopher Guest as their coach, right?

Samsmama said...

I'm far too distracted by the elephant ass slide...

Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

dear god i forgot how funny martin short is. harry shearer and christopher guest aside...

comedy gold, G!

"we dig... a hole..."

jessica o said...

That's one busy-ass elephant. I mean busy elephant's ass. Wowie.

Love the battlefield and flamingo casualties. Flaming o's - so gay. NTTAWWT.

Seriously, what happened to Martin Short? Why did he have to commit career suicide with Jiminy Glick?

I love it when other people's kids cuss so much that Billy Eliot is in our collection. BTW, Ava is learning how to say fork. Always a fun word.

verf: ocyclin - v. riding a bike in Ireland.

Mary said...

oh my god- I might have forgotten how much I love this skit, if it weren't for you.It's all stellar, but its the life jacket that gets me every time. You almost forget its there.
In your honor, I'm going out for burritos for lunch :)

Cary McNeal said...

That poor little homosexual.

Harmony said...

Ahh the power of Delusion...it'll get you every time.

garrito said...

JO- You made me do a spit take, and I wasn't even drinking anything. Ocyclin. Ha!

Everybody, I regrettably have to take a little time away from blogging to get ready for my upcoming (2 weeks) nuptials and ensuing honeymoon.

Be back soon.

Burrito Bandito

jessica o said...

I'll hold down the fart, Burrito. No I won't.

Samsmama said...

Stupid weddings.

Bev said...

Aha! I just came here to ask "Wherefore art though, Garrito?" and he had already answered me.

Good luck gettin' hitched, Senor Ito!

Cary McNeal said...

Oooh, marriage. Heh. Good fuckin' times. No really.

Sucker.

Word verf: FLOWEADA

Where urnges come from, and home to this year's Special Olympics.

jessica o said...

So wrong, Cary.

Verf: snerli - a contraction of it's and nearly or is and nearly. Usually said by a guy who's married to his cousin, regarding an approaching tornado. eg: Git down in tha shiltuh. Tha twista snerli heya.

Samsmama said...

Gotta love "email follow up comments".

HEY!!! My son was born in Floweada!

I got him out after 5 weeks.

Now we're in Kansas. Where tha twista snerli heya.

jessica o said...

Bev, this may or may not surprise you. I just got the Senor Ito joke. Bah!

Samsmama, I superlove email notification and mobile internet, too.

Samsmama said...

Wait...I'm not sure that I get the joke...

jessica o said...

Senorito. Little boy in spanish.

Verf: unbubbl - v. To burst someone's bubble. Alternately, to pop the little vag bubble females experience from time to time.

Samsmama said...

OK, that's totally what I thought, but then thought that maybe I was over thinking it. Fucking wine.

Funny, Cary once suggested I do my own QOTD, but call it Queef of the day. Or however you spell it. And I spent hours wondering if there was some joke I wasn't getting, or if he's just a jackass.

Cary McNeal said...

Smama, didn't you post about queefing, or at least mention it? That's what the joke was referencing... but maybe it was someone else.

I'm still a jackass, though.

Cary McNeal said...

Btw... snerli = genius!

Samsmama said...

I certainly didn't post about it. Not even sure I mentioned it. But you never know.

Jackass.

Why the hell am I "Smama"? That one, I don't get.

jessica o said...

I am Queen Laqueefa.

verf: Perepto - n. burped version of Pepto. For example: Honey, I have serious *burp* indigestion. Can you get me the Perepto? *burp*

Bev said...

OK, two things:

1. I really miss Senor Ito! I hope he finishes his nuptuals and comes back to us soon!

2. Jessica, I have to be honest. I actually was going for "Mr. Ito" in Spanish = Senor Ito. I don't have an ~ key or whatever. Your answer was way more clever than mine! :)

Ok, 3.... It was definitely JessO who mentioned queefing in yoga. Right?

Hmmm, this is like Blogger Jeopardy!

Samsmama said...

YES! It was Jess! Man, I knew it wasn't me!

Bev, I'm with you. Where the fuck is Senor Ito? I think we've given him ample time off. He's just being selfish now.

Unknown said...

hello?

Bev said...

Seriously, wasn't his honeymoon in Mexico? I hope he doesn't have the pig-lu! Oh, sorry... H1N1, whatever the fuck that means!

GARITTTTTOOOOOOO, where are you?

Mary said...

Ok, wedding or not, this is getting rigoddamndiculous!
Come back Garrito! I have chicklets...........

jessica o said...

Hey! You guys don't suppose Garrito married a black widow, do ya? Where in the world is Gary? How much boinking can he be doing?

Samsmama said...

HA! I wonder if the new wife told him "no more hos". That would suck.

Mary said...

I just realized that Garrito's last post was 5 weeks ago!
here's what must have happened:
In Mexico, his new wife found out about the blog- she said 'no more hos'. Of course, garrito wasn't going for it- so he made a break for the border, carrying all the chicklets and plastic madonna statues etc...he could carry. This of course slowed him down considerably. His new wife caught up with him and tried to convince him of her forgiveness by kissing him- while she was infected with swine flu! He's been delirious and distracted by shiny objects ever since.
p.s. I'm sure this didn't happen and his new wife is just lovely, but if he isn't going to post,then damn it, someone has to!

Unknown said...


A very useful post indeed!! And yeah it has come from the horse's mouth...can see apart from talent of course unconditional involvement,immense passion and perseverance has made you what you are today

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