Its real name is Amorphophallus titanum, which translates to "giant misshapen penis". Can you say "giant misshapen penis", boys and girls?
Hands off, Maryann and Adrianne!
What was I saying? Oh yes, naturalist Sir David Attenborough changed the name of the plant to the boring Titan arum for his boring BBC show, The Private Lives of Plants. Why? Apparently he giggled every time he said "phallus".
Notice the vasectomy scar.
That didn't keep this woman from using protection.
Classic case of giant misshapen penis envy.Photos ©2009 Garrito
20 comments:
So I totally thought you made up "giant misshapen penis" until I clicked the link.
I'll admit, I was oddly aroused for a minute there. Until I read about the aroma. And then I felt sick.
If you're a certain person who likes it in the butt, smell may not be an issue though.
For me? There's no piece of furniture I want badly enough.
Gigantic misshapen penises that smell like rotting meat? Sounds like a typical Friday night around here!
smells like a decomposing mammal?! WHATTHEFUCK?!
when we were kids, my BFF's house was surrounded by these trees that, when they bloomed smelled like maxi pads.
and yeah, those little asian fellas are looking rather longily at the giant, misshapen penis aren't they?
bev, hahahaha! you crazy lady.
mary, my ass doesn't smell. nor does my shit stink.
LMAO @ Classic case of giant misshapen penis envy
I guess that takes smells like death to a whole new level.
i have no words.
Samsmama: Some things you just can't make up.
Bev: Killer!
MoFM: I consider myself lucky that I don't know what a maxi pad smells like.
Harmony: Grazie.
Stacie: I get that a lot.
At first I just thoguht, Oh garrito- really?
A misshapen penis? then I saw the vasectomy scar and a little diet coke came out of my nose when I snorted...touche!
Gotta go get some paper towels...
and MoFM? what the hell kind of tree was that?
Wait a sec...only the vasectomy part is an exaggeration. The translation is 100% accurate. Click the Wiki link.
I swear I wrote a comment earlier.
Something way too gross? Anyway, you think Georgia O'Keefe was trying to paint the female version of this plant all along?
mary, The Tree That Smells Like Pads.
jessicao, hahaha!
Nope, 100% censorship-free here, Jess-o. (So far, at least.) Could it be you're smoking the same stuff as Georgia O'Keefe?
MoFM/Mary: I believe the latin name is Cursus Femininus.
G, haha @ the latin name. my dad thinks it's HILARIOUS to turn everything into a latin name, or a "scientific name". (i think it comes from Looney Tunes. didn't they do that a lot?) he likes to say "Craposus" instead of crap. turns annoying into "Annoyingnus Maximus".
just thought i'd share.
Yeah, I'm a big Looney Tunes fan. I even wrote some ads for a Looney Tunes trading card game a while back where I used the whole latin name thing. (The game did not last long - Failus Immedius.)
omg, i am seriously in total heart with you now, G. i know samsmama found you first, but i found you... like 3rd or 4th or something.
Who knew Looney Tunes had that affect on womens?
On a related note: On Facebook recently there was a "What cartoon character are you?" quiz. I'm Pepe LePue, mon cherie.
le meow. le purr.
Le wow, wow.
(I'm so ashamed. I just realized it's Pepe LePew, not Pue.)
Hmmmm...A former girlfriend used to call me "Amorphophallus." I heard the "amor" and thought that it meant she loved my phallus.
Grrr.....
Well, I guess it's better than her calling you Phallus Minimus.
I am sorry to post so late in this momentary concentration span world and perhaps these words will simply echo emptily in the deserted corners of cyber-space.
I am however, compelled to write. It is one thing to taunt, ridicule and disparage humans, but to do so to plants is beyond any pale. Plantism, like paedophilia or liking country music, is never acceptable.
Firstly, it is inflorescence. And to say 'inflorescence flower' is silly, as inflorescences are made up of flowers, not the other way around. Like racism and sexism, plantism has ignorance at its roots.
I suppose you think "Amorphospermum" is funny and you snigger at flowers that are labiate, but do you ever stop to think of the hurt you are giving?
And to question the sainted Sir David and the never-boring "Secret Life of Plants" is an outrage of the highest stripe.
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